There was a storm in her head !!!

It was a long winter day and the door bell rings, I ran towards the staircase to open the door. It was Alisha, my bff !!! She seemed gloomy I knew something was not ok with her. She burst into tears without warning me of what is going to happen. All she needed was a hug from me which seemed like a mute button to her tears or like calmness after a heavy downpour. We sat around the round table across the window and it was when I realized the clouds were crying.Yes, It was raining. Alisha was speechless but she had lots to say. I knew she always bottled her emotions and showed the world that she was a strong girl.

You never think it can happen to you. Never. Not in a million years. Then it did and in the entire time she felt like she was in the eye of a hurricane. There was a sense of calmness because the worst had yet to come.

You know !!! Alisha was that kind of girl who would bottle up her emotions inside and look like nothing has happened.Strong,brave, bold,enduring,dauntless girl was Alisha with no fear of what will happen tomorrow but enjoy all of her present. They say Destinies are not alike and so was her fate unlike other normal girls around her. The storm of her past always haunted her even in her lively dreams. No mountains of anything good could destroy the hurricane in her mind which consecutively splashed in her head everytime. It was like a loop of a bad memory which never left her alone and till I know she is still dwelling in the dark hole.

It was a storm in her eyes which changed her life completely. It came into her life without warning and lasted for ten years of memory which she had barely narrated to me. The storm almost killed her and also changed the course of her life which only illusioned like a dark immortal cave with no end. She heard the resonating echoes of the hurricane everyday which almost strangled her to death. Alisha was merely swinging with hopes to see a rainbow someday. The winds have stilled and rains have stopped, But there is not a single day that goes by a wispy breeze and cannot remind of the hurricane. A hurricane whose name she can never forget, I will never forget ...

This storm was called cancer.

A thought- I wish it is wrong.

She says, I remember you saying "I am a fish and you are my water" Do you still feel the same about it or something has changed yet ? Changed you or your love has changed ? Do you still feel butterflies in your stomach, when you think of our next meet ? Do you still look at those pictures and fall asleep ? Do you miss me when you look at strawberries anywhere around the world? Like moon is temporary while sky is still, waves are episodic but ocean is eternal Sometimes I feel love is temporary where relationship is permanent. I wish these thoughts are false. There was a day when you ran out of your dorm, despite of the heavy rain , you picked your overcoat from the closet, barely half worn running and skipping the puddles just to glance at me for a while.love is an intuition. Your love to me is a presence that cannot be lost, My residence that cant be changed and your permanence that will stay still ever.Do you feel the same about it ?

A Naive feeling 09-09-11

It was a tough,dry day and I climbed up to my terrace for some rest and peace. I sat on the stairs and felt the cool breeze brushing through my face which almost created a peaceful atmosphere around I felt like I was surrounded by the calmness of silence. I felt good and in the mean time it started drizzling .I walked inside and felt those tiny , cold drops on my face which made me feel like my – “ Dream come true , wish for the day .” I sat on the first stair, drenching my feet in rain. Raindrops tickling my wet feet and then finally I was lost in my thoughts , I felt happy yet I was sad , I was smiling but my heart sobbed , I felt special and still I was an ordinary girl . These things confused me twisting and tangling my the diction of my brain which needed an answer , a simple answer and then utterly I realized, it was the damn LIFE which make us believe It has 2 different phases of its own . Sometimes Miserable, wretched and grieving and soon it turns out to be beautiful, enchanting and blissful. I could never let those moments dry on my mind , So I tried my best to transform my thoughts into a Poem .

I sit around the stairs and look at the dark sky,
And ask my God why does my heart cry?

Is it for someone who can never be with me?
Or for someone with whom my heart rests in glee.

I can hear the downpour coming close to me,
And tears roll down my eyes and rest on my cheeks.

Impatient, thwarted, and miserable I feel,
I doubt if my life is not an ordeal.

Looking back at times when my heart was only mine,
and now I share it with someone fond, gentle and kind.

So I look at myself in glaze and a saucy smile I give,
And walk away thinking I have A life to LIVE.

When it comes to love....

When it comes to life, I would choose the sky . If it is death, I would choose silence. When it comes to peace, I would prefer shores. If it is happiness, it is family and sadness, is loneliness . If its hatred, its betrayal and if it is love, It is YOU. Just you .. Someday I would ask myself what is in him that made you not yours and his. Love to me was nothing but mere waste of time . Love to me was a jack-box of laughter . Love was a handful of sand which may dissolve into thin air and known for its disappearance to me until I found him , Until I realized the reason why  do I just get wet in rain. Until I knew the value of my breath by knowing what it means to you . Love to me is  reconciliation of two hearts . A bond,vowed by each other for future. It is your love that has forced me not to be mine anymore.Your love to me is a coral shell of white pearl . Love to me is to wear loose pjs and go for a morning walk with you . Love to me is when you hug me after a stressful day seeking a shelter of care in me . It is when you look at me with a puppy face just to make believe that you are saying the truth . Love is when you hold my hands secretly in crowd . Love, to me is that goodnight kiss which you never miss at all. Love is just not it , it is when you wake up with a smile , it is when you hug me from behind, it is that phone call you give just to make sure that I am ok, It is when you bring strawberries for me, love is just not you, It is when I look into your eyes intensely, love is when I stand for you when the world disappoints. Love is when I run behind you on a  beach. Love is when we gaze at the stars resting on our backs and discussing wishes. Love is when I cook your favorite steak . Love is expressive. Love is natural . It is a wish to die in your arms, love is to grow old with you .